Full Engagement

The HR Director swiped the book, so my review is late.

While I put that off a little longer, here is an article, used with permission:

How to Create Good Conversation
By Brian Tracy,
Author of Full Engagement!: Inspire, Motivate, And Bring Out the Best In Your People

Almost all successful and happy people are good conversationalists. They have developed an ability to communicate naturally and spontaneously with almost anyone they meet.
Good conversationalists are a pleasure to be around and they are welcome wherever they go. Learning the art and skill of good conversation can help you in virtually every human relationship, both at business and at home.
In this post, I'm going to talk about some of the things that you can do to become a more effective conversationalist. As with anything worthwhile, these ideas require practice, over and over, until they become a normal and natural part of your personality. Once you begin putting these points into action, you will feel more confident and competent in your interactions with virtually anyone and everyone you meet.
There are three aims and purposes of conversation.
Aim #1:
The first is the plain enjoyment and pleasure of self-expression and interaction with other people. One of the most enjoyable things we ever do is to spend time with people we like and whose company we find stimulating and fun. This potential pleasure is the driving force behind all of our social activities. We like to get together with people with whom we have a lot in common and just share ideas, letting the conversation go where it will.
Aim #2:
The second aim or purpose of conversation is to get to know the other person better. In sales, and in all kinds of business, you require prolonged exposure to another person in order to get a feel for how he or she thinks, feels and reacts. This can't be accomplished in a short meeting. Many customers will have a salesperson come back several times to converse and explain his product or service. These conversations may cover some of the same ground but their major purpose is to help the customer assess whether or not he or she wants to get involved with the salesperson and his company.
In our personal relationships, there is no substitute for extended periods of conversation in the social development of friendships and more intimate relationships. People who get along very well together have almost invariably spent a lot of time just talking about various subjects as they come up.
Aim #3:
The third aim of conversation is to build trust and credibility between two people. This is perhaps the most important thing we do as we proceed through life and it is only possible with the kind of continuous conversation that reveals us to each other.
Sometime ago, I was asked to present a proposal for a strategic planning session for the senior executives of a billion dollar corporation. This presentation was to the president of the company and two of his senior executives. When the presentation was over, the president concluded the formal meeting and suggested that he and I go for a drive.
He called for his car to be brought around to the front of the company offices. We took the elevator down, got in the car and he had his driver take us to a large city park some miles away. When we arrived at the park, he suggested that we get out and walk for a while. We ended up walking for about an hour and a half, with the conversation going back and forth from business to personal life and touching on other subjects. There was no detailed discussion of my proposal, the cost of the strategic planning session, or the logistics. What he seemed to want more than anything else was to get an idea of my general philosophy and approach to life.
At the end of the hour and a half, as we got back into the car, he told me that he had decided to go ahead with the strategic planning session and that he would leave it to me from that moment onward. We then drove back to the company where we parted until the strategic planning session some weeks later. The conversation during the walk in the park had been the clincher.
Conversation Tips:
One of the very best ways to learn about another person is to spend unbroken time in their company. I've found that a two or three hour car trip is one of the most revealing experiences you will ever have with another human being. People who have gotten along well for many years working or socializing together in brief stints will often find that an extended car trip brings out elements of their personalities that they did not even know existed.
Before you enter into any serious business or personal relationship with anyone, you should spend several hours with them experiencing the ebb and flow of sustained conversation. It's amazing what you will learn.
Many people think that the art of good conversation is to speak in an interesting and arresting fashion, to be noted for your humor, your ability to tell stories, and your general knowledge of a variety of subjects. Many people feel that, if they want to be better at conversation, they must become more articulate, outgoing and expressive. They think that they must become better talkers.
Nothing could be further from the truth. As you've heard many times before, we come into this world with two ears and one mouth and we should use them in that same proportion. In conversation, this simply means that you should listen twice as much as you talk if you want to get a reputation for being an excellent conversationalist.
The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers. You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well worded questions that not only make the conversation go in the direction you want, but it gives other people an opportunity to express themselves.
© 2011 Brian Tracy, author of Full Engagement!: Inspire, Motivate, and Bring Out the Best in Your People
Author Bio
Brian Tracy, author of Full Engagement!: Inspire, Motivate, and Bring Out the Best in Your People, is one of the top business speakers and authorites in the world today. He has spoken in almost every city in the US and Canada, and in 58 other countries. He addresses more than 250,000 people worldwide each year. He has written 50 books and produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs on management, motivation, and personal success. He is the president of Brian Tracy International as well as Business Growth Strategies, which is the preeminent Internet business learning portal in the world today. He lives is Solana Beach, California.
For more information please visit http://www.briantracy.com and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter

Post on Economics

At http://www.wheatandtares.org/2011/04/21/lets-talk-economics/

Finally, a better book (508 pages worth) on International Mediation

International Comparative Mediation: Legal Perspectives (Global Trends in Dispute Resolution) by Nadja Marie Alexander (Nov 19, 2009)

 

When International Comparative Mediation: Legal Perspectives (Global Trends in Dispute Resolution arrived, and I got my first look, my heart dropped.  I've slogged through a number of texts that were really useless literature reviews, hitting the same tired notes (med-arb discussions anyone) with footnotes that were really recycled dry sawdust. 

 

While Nadja Alexander's book does  have footnotes (e.g. Chapter 1 is about 60 pages and 165 footnotes; Chapter 7 about 42 pages and 221 footnotes), only a handful date to the 1982 to 1985 era (the 1880s cite doesn't count).  Most are post 2000 and almost all of them are relevant.

 

The best way to think of the book is to approach it as a cross between a text book and a broad analysis of the topic, spanning most international ADR procedures (that is, it includes arbitration and a wide range of mediation pratices, though it does not include peacemaking facilitation). 

 

There is a light touch of the literature survey (such as "In Smits' words" or "Coben and Thompson call") but is a bare scattering that does not reduce the value of the book or distract from the content.

 

Pages 1 to 60 are introduction.  Chapter 2 orients mediation in the legal context and from page 61 to 105 (and 166 footnotes) it provides a useful review and a solid national and international setting.  It provides useful integration into policy considerations (Pages 106 to 114 especially).  Chapter 3 covers pre-mediation -- how mediators are selected and matters referred (Pages 115 to 170 and only 252 footnotes).

 

 Chapter 4 covers mediation clauses and agreements (see also the model language in Appendix A) and the various considerations appropriate to many jurisdictions.  Chapter 5 develops the implications of the intent of the agreements by addressing the legal context, duties and conduct of mediators and participants.

 

Chapter 6 begins on page 245 and addresses confidentiality.  Chapter 7 begins at 293 and covers post-mediation issues from a legal perspective.  It addresses jurisdictional affects of mediation on limitations (tolled in many countries, not in others, by ADR/mediation procedures), enforcement, challenges and remedies and the reporting duties of some jurisdictions.  Any mediator who travels should realize that some jurisdictions require a mediator to retain notes for seven years, others encourage destruction at the end of a mediation session.  It reaches other issues as well.

 

In all of these chapters the policy considerations are set out and often contrasted with each other.  The core of the book completes at page 336.  he book then goes forward to analyze the UN efforts to create a model law for international commercial mediation.

 

Since UNCITRAL continues to press forward with multiple nations adopting various parts of the MLICC (a model law with roots that go back to 1968 and with current promulgation date of 2002), the history and basics of the MLICC are very relevant to any international context.  Even  the United States has enacted portions via the Uniform Mediation Act sections used by nine states adn the District of Columbia.

 

There is a solid policy and theme analysis of the act and its critiques.  From 350 to 383 the book contains an interview with Jerney Sekolee, former secretary of UNCITRAL.   That interview provides an excellent insight into the UNCITRAL mindset.

 

Chapter 9 is the actual model law, with comments on the MLICC (2002).  Appendixes A, B & C start on page 441, the index starts on page 485.

 

But this is finally, the better book.  Given the number of bad books I've read that tried to reach the topic, I'm glad there is one that is finally worthwhile I can review and recommend.

 

What Could Happen If You Do Nothing: A Manager's Handbook for Coaching Conversations

What Could Happen if You Do Nothing? A Manager's Handbook for Coaching Conversations by Jane Murphy (Jun 14, 2010)

There are a number of different books on coaching.  Some are fad de jour books, froth attempting to be at the top of what may be a new fad bubble.  Other books are solid lumps, making up in mass what they lack in anything to say.

Then there are a few useful books that are clear and detailed.  Or should I say, there appears to be one book that is concise, clear and that goes forward to show one how to coach, step by step, example by example.

How useful, how clear?  Enough I can add it to the short list of books stolen from me within a month of my getting it.

I tend to categorize books by whether they are useful or not and whether they are capable of pragmatic application by real people or not.  Some are good enough that I buy copies for friends and family.  A very few are good enough that they walk out the door in the hands of the sort of person who can evaluate value quickly.

That is the category this book fits.  Not to mention, good enough I paid my own money to replace the missing copy.

I would note that the book is divided into 4 sections:

1. Listening - This section covers the different ways to listen to employees in order to save time and money, and to ensure better alignment between performance and business goals.
2. Asking - This chapter includes the process, tactics, and themes in the ways managers ask questions to produce motivating responses
3. Suggesting - Discusses the “when,” “what,” and “how” of suggesting
4. Conversation Maps – The book concludes with a discussion of the organic growth of a conversation, and how different conversations can lead to different outcomes.

But the sections do not capture that the book is filled with useful material that can be applied, not just read. It really does answer the question about what could happen if you do nothing -- as well as the question about what you should and can do instead of nothing.  Worth buying.  And to the house guest who stole a copy from me, read the parts that suggest better ethical behavior.

What is going on with the Russians, the ABM site and how to solve it.

First, some time for reality.  The Russians use the same "o" rings we use for our missiles.  We make sure they can steal them.  Why?  Our "o" rings fail if they freeze (ever wonder why the space shuttle uses "o" rings that cause it to blow up if they freeze?  That is so the ones available for the Russians will do the same thing).

Russian ICBMs are kept in Siberia.  Want to guess how many of them get below freezing every winter? Given that the Russians have yet to have a successful complete operational practice of their bomber fleet, want to guess how many non-nuclear submarine missiles the Russians have available at the start of the year on May 1?

That is why they are threatened by an ABM (anti-ballistic missile) system designed to "only" shoot down 5 or 6 missiles. The sooner everyone acknowledges the truth, the better.

So, does that mean that it is impossible to get a deal with the Russians where they will embrace an ABM site rather than oppose it bitterly and refuse to give an explanation that is logical or real.

Of course.  Ask the Russians to provide site security. If they have a combat battalion on site that would (a) provide some security and (b) provide them with some assurance the system would not be used against Russia. In addition, incorporate Russians into the operation of the system.

That way the site would also protect Russia and they would have some insurance that it would not operate against them.  All you need is a location, where there are political forces that want closer relationships with both the U.S. and Russia, in different ways.

The need for focus // A very positive review of Competitive Selling

Too often I read books, talk face to face, or hear approaches by people who are afraid to lose an opportunity. If asked which of two offices they would prefer to work at, they say both. If asked which of two specialties they handle, they claim “either.”

By failing to make a choice, they become a last choice. The person who says “both” as to which city they would take a job in, no matter how well they support the proposition, has said “neither” – dropping to last place for both locations. The choice of “both” of “all” or “any” is really the choice of “none.”

I’ve made the mistake myself. In an area I have been involved in since the 1980s I regularly see people making it (e.g. “What kind of ADR services do you offer? What are you best at?” gets answered with “all” or “anything a potential customer might pay me for” which of course is really heard as “None. Don’t hire me.”).

Landy Chase does not make that mistake. Needs analysis based selling is by far the most effective long term method for building sales relationships. Understanding it is essential to anyone who negotiates or sells. The method naturally appeals to people whose native mode is analytical or cooperative.

Chase has a book for teaching the method to the 25% to 35% of the population is competitive. He has chose a specific market, one that is underserved (at least for those who are explaining needs based approaches). His book is good enough that you should seriously consider it regardless of your approach to life and negotiation and sales.

He addresses the weakest part of his analysis first. “Weakest” = “most likely to be rejected by his audience” not faulty. That is a brave step, but it is also essential to teaching needs based approaches. Either a reader will start thinking about needs based approaches or they can’t make the jump. Addressing it first, while the reader is still open, is an excellent early way to begin.

///////////-- Aside

I should note that a good friend of the family (we decided where to live when we moved based on where they live) has been employed for the last thirty years in sales in industries where the entire industry is defined by value instead of price.

Everyone in those industries accepts that what they are really paying for is expertise, not the product. For the products you don’t even need a sales person or a vendor – for the expertise you can’t get it without one.

I’ll note that you pay the same price to go to a top 14 law school as you do to one in the bottom 5%.

////////////

Once he introduces the concept, he transitions to nuts and bolts. The nuts and bolts part of the book starts early. It is really well done. In case you’ve wondered why I spent such a long time on the opening description in a book review, the book deserves it. The book is well enough done I can recommend it even if the “predator” motif (which is extremely aggressive) is not your flavor of choice.

I’ve really just not seen the nuts and bolts handled so cleanly or clearly in many areas. I read a fair number of sales related texts for two reasons. One, they often touch on negotiation – an area that is a long term interest of mine (thirty plus years of study and reading in the area). Two, ADR is very much sales, both in practice building (see Selling the Invisible) and in delivery of service. While much of it has nothing to do with what I do, I’ve been reading sales texts for a very long time.

///////////// -- Aside

Another aside. My favorite company generally provides better value at a higher price, but lower cost. The combination translates to a lower net price over time. I had no idea until I sat through a long knowledge mapping session that those points existed or fit together. As a thriving Fortune 100 company, it obviously has clients and business, but it was fun to see the concepts set forth in this book that are applied by that company.

//////////////

The book pairs well with Conceptual Selling.

But the strongest thing about the book is the detailed nuts and bolts advice that is integrated into a consistent and organized whole. Honestly, the first thing I did after I finished the book was look for the name of his editor. The book was tight enough that I wanted to do a search for other books with the same editor.

Competitive Selling: Out-Plan, Out-Think, and Out-Sell to Win Every Time by Landy Chase (Hardcover - Jun 3, 2010)

(3)

Other Editions: Kindle Edition

You will find reviews of the book. You can find the author on-line at http://landychase.com/

But, what can I tell you about this book that you won’t necessarily get other places?

• The writing, structure and editing are very tight.

• It is a high application level book. That is, the book presents legible, consistent and organized information that you can see, hear and hold and apply directly.

• If you have not been able to get a handle on needs based approaches, this will educate you on how to use the concept in a step by step way.

• The book is complete.

How much does it cross over into other areas (i.e. non-sales)? It had some useful material on group dynamics in chapter 5, some excellent support of ethical behavior mid-way through chapter 7, and I enjoyed his final chapter on how the ordinary becomes extra-ordinary. But this is a book tightly oriented to direct selling.

I’m grateful Anna Suknov sent me a review copy. Thank you Anna.

The truth about politicians

The truth about politicians



No matter what they say, some will be outliers. Does the existence of outliers make them all liars or just some? What is the alternative?